My newspaper

http://www.district196.org/evhs/academics/journalism/Goodell/index.html

editorial final draft

The gate closing on the top parking lot at Eastview High School is a controversial matter, to say the least. In January 2010 the administration decided to close the gate that blocks a road coming from the bottom parking lot to the top parking lot from 7:00-7:30 am and 2:00-2:45 pm every school day. Their reasoning behind it was that it will create more flow in the traffic everyday. Between 7:00-7:30 and 2:00-2:45 is the busiest time for the roads around Eastview High School due to students coming and going from school. There is absolutely no reason to close the gate and it does no good for anybody. As my friend Hunter said, “think of it like this, if there are two holes in a bucket as opposed to one hole, the water will drain faster with two holes then with one hole, so why plug up the one hole”? He is referring to the traffic as water and the gate as the hole. In the morning now, the line for the light to turn left into the school parking lot extends about two blocks back to the light at the street before it with the line for the top lot for parents extending just about ten cars long. I understand where the administration is coming from in a sense, when the gate is open in the morning students wait in the line for the top parking lot and then turn right to go down into the bottom lot, causing constant stopping and slowing down for cars behind. But having the gate closed, the traffic is so uneven for both turns that it makes no sense to “close up one of the holes”. The administration needs to reconsider their decision to close the gate and consider the students coming to school, and not just try to please the parents of the students. Having the gate closed and making the line longer for the left turn lane will just cause accidents and fender benders, I have seen many close calls since the gate has been closed. Opening the gate back up is the only smart decision for the administration to make.

Peer edits

Amanda Rickert


1. Is there a clear point of view? (position)
yes, she believes that Obama health care plan needs to be cheaper and have different ideas

2. Does the Op-Ed state the problem and solution simply?
yes, she proposes they go back to the drawing board and consider other things

3. Does the piece address the counter arguments?
Not too much, you could maybe expand on that
4. Is the Op-Ed interesting?
Yes it is, it is something that adresses our whole country
5. Are the paragraphs organized logically?
yes
6. Does each paragraph develop an idea to support the thesis?
yes
7. Is the writing clear?
yes, it states an obvious viewpoint


Sarah Wiley

1. Is there a clear point of view? (position)
Yes, she believes the use of "gay" and "no homo" should be stopped
2. Does the Op-Ed state the problem and solution simply?
Yes, simply intruct the sayings are offensive
3. Does the piece address the counter arguments?
Yes

4. Is the Op-Ed interesting?
Yes, effects everyone

5. Are the paragraphs organized logically?
Yes

6. Does each paragraph develop an idea to support the thesis?
Yes

7. Is the writing clear?
yes, interesting

Editorial rough draft

The gate closing on the top parking lot at Eastview High School is a controversial matter, to say the least. In January 2010 the administration decided to close the gate that blocks a road coming from the bottom parking lot to the top parking lot from 7:00-7:30 am and 2:00-2:45 pm every school day. Their reasoning behind it was that it will create more flow in the traffic everyday. Between 7:00-7:30 and 2:00-2:45 is the busiest time for the roads around Eastview High School due to students coming and going from school. There is absolutely no reason to close the gate and it does no good for anybody. As my friend Hunter said, “think of it like this, if there are two holes in a bucket as opposed to one hole, the water will drain faster with two holes then with one hole, so why plug up the one hole”? He is referring to the traffic as water and the gate as the hole. In the morning now, the line for the light to turn left into the school parking lot extends about two blocks back to the light at the street before it with the line for the top lot for parents extending just about ten cars long. I understand where the administration is coming from in a sense, when the gate is open in the morning students wait in the line for the top parking lot and then turn right to go down into the bottom lot, causing constant stopping and slowing down for cars behind. But having the gate closed, the traffic is so uneven for both turns that it makes no sense to “close up one of the holes”. The administration needs to reconsider their decision to close the gate and consider the students coming to school, and not just try to please the parents of the students. Having the gate closed and making the line longer for the left turn lane will just cause accidents and fender benders, I have seen many close calls since the gate has been closed. Opening the gate back up is the only smart decision for the administration to make.

Editorial pre writing

1. What is a problem/issue that our entire student body (our school, community, country, etc.) faces today?
The top gate being closed and the traffic being a bigger issue in the morning

2. What is your view/position on the problem or situation?
The gate should NOT be closed and should be reopened to help traffic flow

3. What would you like to achieve with your editorial? (What is the desired result?)
Gate to be reopened

4. How will you persuade your audience to adopt your viewpoint as theirs? List at least 4 persuasive points.
-Better traffic flow if gate opened
-Not as many cars in line for the left turn lane
-More of a constant flow of traffic
-Evens out traffic lanes

5. How will you motivate your readership to action in your conclusion?
-That opening the gate will create a happier, more flowing morning traffic

6. How will your editorial serve a public purpose?
-Hopefully getting the gate open

Bobby Vossen

1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
Seans future career in Navy

2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
You could have used info from the Navy website

3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Yes, he sets up the school very nicely and has lots of detail

4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
More of what Sean did to prepare for the Navy

Feature story

The recent “Twilight phenomenon” has affected many fans of the movie Twilight. With New Moon selling $69.6 million in its first days, and Twilight selling $70.5 million in its first weekend, the third installment of the series, Eclipse is sure to be a hit. The book series Twilight has been a hit among teen girls, and women since its debut in 2005. There are four books in the series, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Ever since mid 2008 the series have gotten extremely popular and sales of the books have sky rocketed. The series has a different appeal then other romance novels to, realism. The series are written so well that the reader is falling in love with Edward right along with Bella. The immense detail in the books draws readers in and pulls them deeper and deeper into the story. The vampire family, even though they are vampires they are very realistic and relatable. Bella is a stereotype teenage girl. All girls can relate to Bella and all guys can look up to Edward. The story starts out when Bella moves from Arizona to Forks, Washington to live with her dad. She is seated next to Edward Cullen at lunch and they begin talking. Her new friends at her new school are skeptical against her and Edward because he is very hard to get to know and he never opens up to anybody. Throughout the story they fall in love and he reveals his family’s secret of them being vampires. The story is about them falling in love and then later in the story they fight against the evil vampires Laurent, Victoria and James. All the while they are keeping the secret that the family are vampires. There has not been many romance movies that can live up to Twilight’s hype, or even any movie. There have been many different reviews on the second installment of the movie ranging from “I did find this film to be a little better then Twilight because of the romantic triangle aspect. That and the other plot developments add some complexity and suspense making the film enjoyable”, to “oh God, make it stop”. When I asked a friend of mine about her thoughts of the Twilight saga, she replied “oh I love the Twilight saga; I have never been able to not put a book down while reading it.” But when I asked my mom, she just replied with “I have never even seen the movie and I do not know where the hype and excitement is coming from”. The Twilight saga has many times been compared to Harry Potter. The same excitement and obsessiveness overcomes Harry Potter fans just like it overcomes Twilight fans. They have put down Stephanie Meyer, the author of Twilight saying she can not write “worth a darn” and does not compare to J.K Rowling. If you asked her fans, they would have a totally different take on those comments. There have even been religious leaders questioning the plot line and characters of Twilight. They say that Bella is willing to give up herself to a man and that the way they fall in love is not healthy and she gives up everything for him. Being a very big fan of the Twilight saga myself, I disagree 100%. There is nothing religious about the movie Twilight and if you can relate religion to this movie, then you can criticize just about any movie for not being a positive role model for young people. There is a lot of criticism that comes with a movie being a big time hit. The Twilight saga also forces readers to choose sides in the movie, either Team Edward or Team Jacob. In all four installments of the series Jacob is in love with Bella, all the while that Edward is with her, This causes a tension between Jacob and Edward and even Bella, because in Eclipse she is forced to pick between to two men. There are positives about each character and they make readers fall in love with either character. Jacob is safe, warm, secure and reliable. But Edward is rugged, strong, and attractive and is her first love. But after Bella chooses Edward, Jacob is still in her life because he imprints on Bella’s daughter, to be born in Breaking Dawn, Reneesme. The rivalry between the wolves and vampires is a very important one; it brings mystery in the beginning of the saga and also creates a plot line in New Moon as well. Some people also say that Breaking Dawn “ruined” the series. Breaking Dawn is also where most of the religious criticism comes from. In my opinion, Breaking Dawn is not one of the better books that Stephanie Meyer wrote in the Twilight series. In the story Edward and Bella get married, and they leave for their secret honeymoon that only Bella does not know the destination to. They arrive and try to have sex because that is what Bella wants. But due to Edward’s violent and aggressive nature, they cannot accomplish it without Edward being in fear of killing Bella. But after a few tries they master it. Bella gets pregnant and the newlywed couple rushes home. They find out that the baby is half vampire and half human, and while Bella is in labor the very strong baby begins to kill her. Edward has to bite her and expose her to his venom in order to keep her alive, therefore turning her into a vampire. That is what gets most criticism, that the book is too violent and shows an example of a woman doing anything to please her husband and that she gave up everything for Edward. As a Twilight fanatic fan myself, I can relate to everybody that is anticipating Eclipse, due for release in theatres June 30th, 2010 and understand why everybody can fall in love with Twilight so easily. It is everything you would even want in a book and movie all in one. You have romance, suspense, action and in some parts horror. It brings all those genres together very well. With sales from New Moon even higher then Twilight, I expect that Eclipse will break the box office. Everybody has something they can relate to in the Twilight series and with the Twilight phenomenon under full swing, why not check it out for yourself and see if you are truly a Twilight fanatic, just like me?